Well it's done! It was both one of the best things I've ever done, and by far and away the worst! The key stat above is the temperature. I wouldn't even be out sitting in the garden in that heat normally never mind riding up the Joux Plane with 70 miles already in my legs, a climb that Lance Armstrong at the height of his doping was the reason for "the worst day I've ever had on a bike..."
But we'll get to that later! (and the final results and placing's....) With Dec's alarm waking us up around 5.30ish it was time to don the magnificent cycling tops Dec had got us all mimicking the iconic Peugeot tops that Tommy Simpson and Robert Millar both wore on the tour together with a matching cap which would literally be the difference between getting round and not later in the day. Well it was for me, Mark and Dec as Michael realised he'd left his in the back of the Landrover 50 miles away in Morzine yesterday afternoon...
We'd brought some food with us for breakfast, mainly porridge based, with Dec excelling himself getting 3 pots of Quakers porridge down him followed by Michaels new secret weapon - Beetroot juice! Allegedly like a legal EPO, Michael had sent us an e-mail in the last couple of weeks pointing us in the right direction and as you would expect Declan was an early adopter, using it in his spin class and immediately seeing a benefit despite the fact that his doctor has told him not to have it as it has too much iron in it! Some banana's and smaller portions of porridge for the rest of us, it was loading our back pockets with as much food as we could carry for the route, various gels, energy bars, bananas and drink supplements and swearing at the various Garmins we had as they failed to turn on.
As we are legendary faffers, we had already put the race numbers on the bike and jerseys and also a super smart sticker of the route for the top tube of the bikes with the feed stations and distance to the climbs, and we were out of the apartment after a photos of the bikes looking really smart on off up the climb (again) to the start in Megeve.
With Dec being at the back on the few rides we'd done recently and a bit nervous about getting round, his start number of 10,664 meant he would set off a good 45 minutes before the rest of us and we had all talked last night of "hunting him down like a dog" and about where we would catch him on the route. Michael was also further up the road with a start number in the 13,000's but as me and Mark didn't think we'd have a hope of catching him, we'd just agreed to meet him at the finish. Meanwhile me and Mark would be starting right at the back in the 14 and 15,000's so we'd decided to start together and try and catch the rest up.
Adding fuel to this theory was Dec immediately dropping back on the climb up the Megeve, so noticeably that Michael dropped back to make sure that he was ok. Upon the question being asked Dec responded that he'd "checked the route more than once and the timed bit didn't start until we got through the line in Megeve!" I thought we are definitely going to catch him and was wondering what insult I could hurl at him as I sped past.........
At Megeve we said our goodbyes as Dec and Michael rode further down the road to the correct pen while me and Mark waited the 45 minutes till our start time right at the back looking at all the skinny Italian and French guys with there £7,000 carbon bikes and thinking "oh dear...."! One thing that had already been commented on lots was our jerseys, the French loving the design and some English guys behind us asking us to look at our backs as it had the race route on with the climbs!
All too quickly there was movement ahead of us and it was time for the 4km (that's how long 16,000 cyclists are!) gentle ride to the start line and a start time of 8.52. with the crowd giving it the countdown we were off!
We were warned the first 6 miles down to Flumet would be hectic as all those put at the back and should have been further up the field smashed it down the valley and it was! Keeping to the right we set a respectable pace down to Flumet and I was living out my Tour De France fantasies in full, race number on, in a peloton, speeding down a beautiful French valley!
At Flumet the first climb of the day began and although uncategorised it was enough to get me into granny gear to admire the spectacular scenery including a lovely tunnel clinging to the side of the mountain giving a much needed respite from the sun as we spun up it. Over the top, a quick drop down and we were in La Giettaz and starting the Cat 2 climb of the Col des Aravis. At 6.7km long it was the shortest categorised climb of the day but made up for it with an average 7% gradient. With Mark disappearing into the distance he promised to wait at the top and I stuck it in the lowest gear and got on with it. The scenery made up for the pain in the legs several times I was gobsmacked by the views while turning the GoPro camera on at regular intervals to try and capture it all!
45 minutes later I was at the top, not feeling to bad, although the Garmin was showing the temp to be over 30 degrees and I'd already gone through both litre bottles on the bike. Knowing the feed station was at the bottom of the 6 miles descent it was GoPro on down with the brave pills and go! It was amazing! Up to nearly 50 mph Mark had stopped just over the summit and we were soon passing loads and loads of riders. I was proper going for it so when Mark came past hunched over like a pro I couldn't believe it! Queue much mucking about as we got faster and faster until I finally got past him just before the feed stop! Watching it back last night it looks a lot hairier than it felt at the time!
A quick stop at the feed station for bananas, water and cheese and bread (it is France after all!) and there was a further 3 miles of descending into Le Grand-Bornand before we swept round a tight left hander with loads of people cheering and the cow bells going like the clappers and the start of the famous Col de la Colombiere. A cat 1 climb that would take in 11.7km and rise at an average gradient of 5.8% I knew I had a tough hour or so ahead of me to get to the top. As I told Mark to press on and not wait for me I got it into the smallest gear and started the climb. All the climbs today were south facing and the heat was now ferocious. The landscape up the Col De la Colombiere is pretty much meadow and grasslands and there was just no cover from the sun at all. I'd already drunk 2 litres of water by the time I was 3/4 of the way up and with my jersey open to the waste and helmet off (Bro the GoPro makes a great helmet mount!) I was thankful for the cap Dec had the foresight to buy us as it was all that was coming between me and heat stroke. With the official photographers taking this point to take a photo I can't wait to see what I look like! Finally 2 km from the top I got massive cramp in both hamstrings and despite trying to peddle through it I had to stop. Eating a gel, energy bar, and the last of the water I had after 5 minutes it had abated and it was back on to crest the summit.
By this time I was beginning to get worried. It was passed 12 already and I'd only done 30 miles or so, it was 34degrees, and we still had the Joux Plane and another 45 miles left. who's idea had this been? Am I mental? these were the thoughts going through me mind. As I've said before big bike are done in the head and sometimes you have to stop listening to the demons. On the positives I had a 16 miles descent to look forward to which only left 29 miles and how hard could the Joux Plane be?!
The descent was even more fantastic than Aravis, the GoPro footage is brill and I managed to pass just about everyone that had passed me up the climb, collecting Mark at the bottom where he had waited for me in the first bit of shade he could find to start the long slog across the valley floor into what felt like a sauna. Hiding behind Mark like a proper wheel sucker, we managed to jump onto a couple of Dutch guys who were going a bit quicker than we were and tag on and get a bit of a chain going. At this point the video crew came past and took some footage of us so it'll be interesting to see how that comes out!
The 15 miles across the valley floor dispatched we stopped at the water point at Mieussy to fill the bottles again and they had a hose pipe shower which I went though when we got there and when we left and it did help but it was so hot. it was 2.20 and we had 24 miles left to go cut off time was 5.24. It was going to be tough for me but Mark was feeling much better and so I told him to get me to the foot of the Joux Plane and then he could go for it.
I can't remember much about the 10 miles to Samoens but Mark got me there and at the feed station just before I tried to eat as much as I could and filled bit water bottles to the brim. I also tried to have my first wee of the day and as I had drunk 12 litres of water I still didn't have enough in me to manage! My black shorts were covered with salt marks and I had a long discussion with Mark about how I was getting up it. I decided to take it a mile at a time as all around me were abandoning. This was the last time you could pull out and get transferred round the mountain but it was just before 3pm and I still had 2 and half hours to get the last 13 miles. I would get up it and I hadn't come all this way to push the bloody bike up it either!
The Col de Joux Plane. An out of category climb (HC). just as an aside the classification used for the climbs was the gear you needed to be in in a 2CV to get up it. Out of category means you can't get up it in one.....At 11.6km it was as long as the Colombiere and at an average of 8.5% steeper than Aravis. Reading the blogs afterwards it states you should climb it early in the morning as it gets too hot in the afternoon....
It was now 36 degrees. As I turned the corner and started to climb everyone was off the bike and pushing. I couldn't comprehend walking up the hill pushing the bike for 6 miles so ploughed on at a steady 4mph. The steepest part was the first 2km out of the village at 10% so made this the first target. As Stu Grainger had told me on facebook yesterday, remember to break it down into manageable chunks and just concentrate on that. The first 2km was carnage. The only thing going past me were ambulances. People were collapsed in the minimal shade that the few trees and buildings offered and there was total silence, it was weird. Stopping after 2km, I finished another bottle ate the last of my food and got back on to peddle past all those walking. As the gradient got steeper I had to resort to riding across the road in zig-zags to just keep going, I wasn't going to push. Looking back at the footage I think I actually did about 20km's up the climb! Stopping every mile I slowly inched my way up higher and higher, stopping to help one guy who had keeled over until his friend got to him and waited for the ambulance.
By this time I’d lost all track of time, only to be brought back by the site of the pace car with convoy for the end of the race to go past me within 2km of the top. I didn’t know if that was it, but seeing clearly by the carnage further down the mountain they couldn’t sweep everyone up, it was last push to the top and past the bus with those who had abandoned that was stuck under the summit banner. I didn’t know if I’d still be classified but I was going to get to the finish whatever so it was zip up the time and get to the finish as fast as I could.
Although there was a 70m ramp just after the summit, more people off and pushing I managed to get up it and then down the steep 6 mile descent into Morzine.
To my amazement I caught and passed the convoy on the descent and thought I’ve got a big enough lead to swap the Go-Pro battery to capture the finish. I must have had heat stoke! What was I thinking?! I couldn’t get the case off and then the battery didn’t fit anyway and as I stumbled about back past came the convoy. Ahhhhhhhh! Back on the bike and trying to catch it again I got into the outskirts of Morzine then got stuck behind some ambulances coming off the Joux Plane. Getting past them with the finish line in sight I was a second behind the car as it crossed the line and the public address system announced the race finished.
I couldn’t believe it. How could I be so stupid? All the suffering and training? Dec was waiting for me, and had been some time (we’ll get to that tomorrow!) as was Mark and Michael but I was pretty inconsolable. I was handed a finishers cap and medal but it meant nothing if I wouldn’t be in the rankings. They tried their best to console me and say nice things that I had finished and even if I wasn’t classified it wasn’t the end of the world, but I must admit I was not the nicest person to know as we took the bikes up a stupidly steep hill to the cable car and the car park high above Morzine.
Once we had got back to car I had cheered up somewhat and we had a photo of us all together with the medals and hats on, hugs and handshakes all round. We had done it!
Stories from the others, awards and the not so boozy night that followed to follow tomorrow!
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